*1/7 Happy New Year…. How are those resolutions holding up? I went to a party filled with cultured French people. Exactly the last thing I want on New Years Eve…. culture! Any other day of the year, I’ll join you and turn my nose up…. but on New Years, I want to be in party mode. Everyone was sober and talking about the finest museums around the world and how they had truffled pate on the coast of France and I was like “Hey, let’s get drunk and party…. it’s not New Years unless someone dips their balls in my Cabernet!”
Seriously though…. Wishing you a happy and healthy New Year. I already have some great club dates coming up including FRUIT PUNCH at Rooster T Feathers Comedy Club in Sunnyvale in March, opening for Sarah Colonna from Chelsea Lately at The Punchline in March and much more…….. Hope to laugh with you soon!
*11/1
It’s November already? Great gigs coming up this month. About 45 minutes South of San Francisco, I’ll be hosting an all gay comedy show called “Fruit Punch!” It’s going to me an amazing gay ol’ time and then I’ll be there all week working with David Feldman. Come on down!
It’s off to Palm Spring on the 19th, where I not only will feel so young but I will perform at Azul. I hear it sells out and is a great gig. So, come on down!
*9/13
SF is back to smelling like SF…. now that everyone has returned from Burning Man. All the hippies are back in yoga class, seriously, ladies, if you’re doing yoga you can still shave your armpits. The girl next to me was so “Earthy” that when she raised her arms to go into Warrior 2 pose, I got exfoliated.
Hey, this week I’m working with more headliners who I watched growing up. Folks who made me love and want to do comedy. I’m at Cobb’s all week with Scott Thompson and Kevin McDonald. I remember watching them as a teen on HBO and then running around the house copying their skit “Hey, old lady, I’, crushing your head” while additionally doing the same odd voice and finger motion over the eye they did. I drove my mom crazy with that for a whole year. Come check me out 6 shows this week, starting 9/15. More info on Cobb’s website.
7/26/11 It’s official.
My mom just said she is coming to visit me from New Jersey. This will be the first time she has come to California to visit me in the 10 years I have lived here and she says the first thing she wants to do is go Wine tasting.
I said, “Um, Mom, you drink wine from a box!”She said, “No! I want to go to my favorite vineyards!”
I was like, “Um, Mom, I’m not quite sure where the Arbor Mist Vineyards are! I’ll have to look on a map. Maybe
they are somewhere, between the Zima and the Sparks estates!”
This will be a fun trip.
3/29/11 What’s on my mind?
I live not too far away from the area Britney invaded to do her concert at as a part of the “Good Morning America” live concert series. The concert aired Tuesday, did you see it? Awful. This is what all the hullabaloo was about? She looked sleepy and uninterested.
I’ve seen Milli Vanilli put more work into a performance.
I’ve seen Paula Dean move faster toward a side of bacon.
Her choreography was more neglected than a Kardashian’s Library card.
She looked like a Tuesday afternoon stripper at The Crazy Horse.
But, it all makes sense folks. Her concert was sponsored by BIG LOTS! And, what is Big Lots?
Big Lots is a great place for low expectations.
Check out my site and where I’m at next. If you got money, I’ll do any type of venue. Any.
